Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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