i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
