hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
