There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The power of my boobs compel you
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
