How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
