so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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