He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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