nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
