She just used a chaser for red wine.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
