just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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