Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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