she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
