Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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