i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
pray to the hookup gods
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
