Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I need moral support for this bender
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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