It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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