Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
