I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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