Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
