hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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