I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
