he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
