You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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