Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
