He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
