i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
