I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
