Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
