Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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