oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
