Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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