drinking out of a sandbucket again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
