i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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