Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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