he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
