Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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