I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
