two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
