that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
