garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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