Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize