My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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