I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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