Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I skipped work to stalk him.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
