Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
