dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
