**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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