i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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