Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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