Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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