She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
