Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize