He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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