U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
