you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
