..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
