Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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