She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
