My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Fuck appropriateness.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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