Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
