i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize