I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
