I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
