Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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