i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
