so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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