god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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