There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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