Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
