So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
