someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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