i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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