some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
