Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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