I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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