maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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