Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
