So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
