She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
