...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The air taste purple.
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