The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
