I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
