Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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