I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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